I'm also struggling with health issues: eye surgery two weeks ago was a failure - my right eye is nearly totally blind in recovery and I don't have great prospects for restored sight. I worry about how long I'll be able to keep the other eye working since it suffers from the same retinal problem.
My August testimony was a comfort to me that in spite of issues and challenges, I've learned a few things in my life worth holding onto - and can at least stand as happy witness of those things. I am not depressed about Church or health struggles, but sometimes I feel alone. I always feel weak. But I also feel grateful for the good things I have had - and still have - in my life.
The thought that got me out of bed this morning was a reply to Pres Oaks. The Book of Mormon talks about justice and mercy and the tension that exists between them. Maybe Pres Oaks was thinking about that in his talk. But then a thought occurred about John Rawls' thought experiment about justice. In a just world, God will measure our life relative to our circumstances and privileges we have enjoyed. If the vast majority of people coming to earth subsist on low wages, meager resources, and limited education - then how would God seek justice upon people like me? Wouldn't I plead for mercy - that I didn't understand my privilege, was weak and limited even in my blessings and comfort? The very idea of using justice (or "law") as a cudgel against anyone when the beam in my own eye is so obvious - I just see justice and mercy in a new light.
For more on Rawls' notion of justice as it relates to God, Frances Menlove's devotional and this NY Times editorial on reincarnation.
As Brian Wilson (no relation!) said, "Loe and mercy is what we need tonight. Love and mercy to you and your friends tonight!"
